the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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