Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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