pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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