everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
