the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
