what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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