all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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