Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
