First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
