all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
