I need help removing her.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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