Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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