I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
