"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
