Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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