god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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