This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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