I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
