our cab driver is having phone sex.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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