No stitches, just platelets and will power
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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