she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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