Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
