It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
