I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
