man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
