found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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