You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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