I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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