if i can run in heels then i can drive
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
