yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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