I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Terrible idea I love it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
