we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have grass duct taped all over my body
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
