I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
