Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my liver is dry heaving
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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