dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
