I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
