69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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