bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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