party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
