why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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