is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
