she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
