great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
