if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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