how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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