Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
