would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
