I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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