i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
