it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
